The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 chance of becoming human. Apparently, i said this joke in my sleep, and dont recall ever hearing it before, so i may have come up with it in my sleep as well. I never really feel like i fit the stereotypes, but who knows. Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho young, mark geoffrey on. You might be an accountant if what is a cpas best pickup line. Youd be surprised how many people, even nonfinancial people, pick up this book and laugh out loud. The best ever book of accountant jokes and millions of other books are available for amazon kindle. Translator says, theres a million dollars missing, boss wants to know where it is.
A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the librarian, and squawks. The entire accounting staff was intrigued but no one was bold enough to ask him what was in. My mother hoped i would meet a nice doctor or barrister or accountant who would marry me and take me to live in what is now called fashionable dublin four. Help yourself to the jokes below and lighten up a speech or presentation or just to have a laugh and make the working day pass quicker. Okay, maybe just a chuckle and the occasional groan. All of these accounting jokes come from the world famous literary classic financial jokes for financial folks. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. This is the accounting jokes page, full of my favorite bookkeeping funnies.
Aside from the oneliners and puns that were shared with us, we found these and other jokes at business insider, the alternate accountant, jokes 4 us, crush the cpa exam and the accountant s bad joke book. We believe everybody should be able to make online purchases with confidence. Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho by mark geoffrey young isbn. Then you can start reading kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer no kindle device required. Apr 29, 2020 here are some cpa jokes and hilarious puns that only an accountant can find funny. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and. If you find yourself laughing or smiling at any of these cpa jokes, chances are. Aug 03, 2016 accounting and bookkeeping jokes enjoy poking fun and laughing with jokes about us bookkeeper and accountant types. For many years matthew has collected virtually every accountant joke shared with him. Accounting jokes favorite bookkeeping, finance and money. I always hear a few when i visit family this time of year, but id love to know what kind of jokes you all know. Some say its the greatest coffee book table of all time. Accountant joke 7 a guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, want to hear an accountant joke.
Explore 115 accountant quotes by authors including simon sinek, guy fieri, and bob newhart at brainyquote. One day, the king pin mafioso is checking out the books and notices theres a million dollars missing. Not all jokes are funny, but then i am not an accountant. See more ideas about funny, accounting humor and accounting jokes.
We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about accountants. Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. An accountant is usually an employee of the company for which they work, and the work done by an accountant is done on a daily basis. Whats the difference between an accountant and a lawyer. Whats the difference between the male sperm and an accountant. Didnt like the dirty joke about husband and wife age 54. This financial jokes book full of all original accounting and finance jokes is the perfect gift for anyone who works in an accountingfinance department who loves. Here are some cpa jokes and hilarious puns that only an accountant can find funny. That being said, here is my little joke for the day. Accountant joke 6 why accountants dont read novels. Funniest accounting and cpa jokes seriously, try not to.
This book gives the collection a public release for the. I love month end cruel funny accountant joke gift mouse pad. Bay street group llc publisher of cpa trendlines at providing. In fact, she made sure that every job she did resulted in a winwin situation. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. Funniest accounting and cpa jokes seriously, try not to laugh. Got this joke book for a friend who is an accountant. Rick telberg author of the accountants bad joke book. Subscribe to the robert half newsletter for articles and resources sent directly to your inbox to make you smile. Dear wife, i am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter i will be at the grand hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary. Theres just something about a good accounting joke that.
Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho mark geoffrey young on. Shop for the perfect accountant jokes gift from our wide selection of designs, or create your own personalized gifts. Did you hear the one about the professional hockey player who quit his job to become an accountant. Take time to have fun with our favorite accounting jokes and cartoons. A 54yearold accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read. Accounting and bookkeeping jokes enjoy poking fun and laughing with jokes about us bookkeeper and accountant types. Apr 26, 2017 aside from the oneliners and puns that were shared with us, we found these and other jokes at business insider, the alternate accountant, jokes 4 us, crush the cpa exam and the accountants bad joke book.
The guy next to him replies, well, before you tell that joke, you should know that im 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and im an accountant. Peter, of course, is there, looking through the files and asking a few quick questions. Enter your mobile number or email address below and well send you a link to download the free kindle app. Dont get sucked in by the title like me and think your accounting buddy friend will think its the greatest. Once the librarian has gotten over the confusion of having a chicken in a library, she wonders whether or not the chicken actually wanted a book.
What does an accountant do when they are constipated. A look at some of the best jokes about accountants. And, if you dont burst out laughing from at least one accountant joke in this book. A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his days work. Well, we dont think so but when does a person decide to become an accountant. Here at the alternative accountant we write new and original jokes help yourself to the jokes below with acknowledgement, please. We have been scouring the web for some good accounting humor to get through april. Dec 12, 2012 the guy next to him replies, well, before you tell that joke, you should know that im 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and im an accountant. Jun 19, 2015 before he was a comedy legend, bob newhart was an accountant a fact hes long been fond of bringing up, perhaps because the idea of a person going from being an accountant to an entertainer was. Its a holiday week here in the us, so i thought id lighten things up by asking for your favorite accountant jokes. Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. Do tell us some olde accounting jokes while we post journals this cold, dark month end night. Think of the program they pass out at church on sunday and you have the idea.
Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho, mark young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. And the guy sitting next to me is 62 tall, 225 pounds, and. A look at some of the best jokes about accountants equities. He calls a meeting with the deaf accountant and a sign language translator. For what they charge, it is a rip off and does not make a good gift. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and grated. Accountant joke 5 why do accountants make good lovers. Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant. Shop for the perfect funny accountant gift from our wide selection of designs, or create your own personalized gifts. Accountant retirement gift idea cooking the books adult apron. The 2017 search for the souths funniest accountant andrew.
Heres a sample of our favorite accountant jokes, as well as irs jokes and jokes about taxes. Accounting jokes read all of my favorite bookkeeping, finance and money funnies, bookkeeping jokes, accounting funnies and bookkeeping laughs to brighten your day. Aside from the oneliners and puns that were shared with us, we found these and other jokes at business insider, the alternate accountant, jokes 4 us, crush the cpa exam and the accountants bad joke book. How do you know when a fraud accountant reads a book on bad accounting jokes. Kids count data book 2012 interactive data wheel state rankings on the welfare. Rick telberg is the author of the accountants bad joke book 4. Before he was a comedy legend, bob newhart was an accountant a fact hes long been fond of bringing up, perhaps because the idea of a person going from being an accountant to an entertainer was. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, im a martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy.
The accountants bad joke book business accounting scribd. The book of accountant jokes is so unoriginal, its original. Ive heard and read some great accounting jokes throughout the years. When he realizes that he doesnt have the charisma to become an undertaker.
Accounting swear words accountant joke gift idea notebook. One day while walking down the street she was tragically hit by a bus and she died. He burned his office down trying to cook the books. The accountants bad joke book harry was the chief accountant of a fortune 500 company. Every day, on arriving at work, he would unlock the top drawer of his desk, peer at something inside, then close and lock the drawer. Oct 31, 2019 there are two types of people in the world. Lots and lots of jokes specially repurposed for youknowwho. If you find yourself laughing or smiling at any of these cpa jokes, chances are you are an accounting nerd like the rest of us. The 2017 search for the souths funniest accountant. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, want to hear an accountant joke.